This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 28; the 28th Edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. The topic for this month is 'BLANK PAGES'.
R
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hea was sitting in a corner
scribbling something in a tiny diary. This was her most prized possession and
being an extreme introvert it helped her to share her feeling which was not
possible normally as she hardly spoke to anyone.
Her parents had abandoned her
when she was only 6 months old on the steps of this orphanage. Sister Daisy was
her mother since then and her only family was the thirty seven other orphans in
the old building off the highway. They had a huge compound in which Rhea used
to take strolls, often talking to sparrows and gazing at the numerous patterns
that the ants used to make. Other kids used to find her a bit eccentric and
tried to ignore conversing with her. Not that it bothered Rhea as she liked to
keep to herself and spent time just wondering how beautiful the gifts of nature
were.
She hardly used to play with the
other kids and always used to sleep late. Many a times Sister would find her in
the corridor mumbling strange words. It would really freak her out and she
would lovingly take Rhea to her bed. Sister was a good natured lady and made
sure that none of the children had any trouble. It was tough times as there
were not many sympathizers of the orphanage and there had been rising cases of
abandoned children. She had appealed to the local administration that had
willingly helped her by providing the extra land joining the plot to the
orphanage at free of cost.
Sister was also getting old and
would often fear what would happen to the facility after her death. There had
been rising cases of violence and crime in the local neighborhood and she made
sure of the security of the children by having an armed guard at the entrance. She
also advised children not to venture out alone without permission and she had
given strict instructions that everyone is to be inside the building by Day
fall.
Rhea on the other hand never paid
heed to the warnings not because she was undisciplined but because she was lost
in her own world and her thoughts. She used to see strange people when she was
out of the orphanage and it often made her wonder that she was like a frog in
the well. She wanted to be free and on her own. She wanted to explore the world
and let the uncertainties of the universe shape her life. But she was stuck in
a godforsaken place with irritating children and a hyper sensitive guardian.
Other children often used to
freak out in Rhea’s company as she always used to mention how she would break
out of the place one day and they would be left there as miserable as they
already were. Sister used to get bothered by these comments of the little girl
but never paid attention as she felt it was a passing phase and the girl would
start talking sense as she spent more time there.
But contrary to everyone’s
expectations one day the things that girl told came true. On a stormy night
when everyone was busy shielding their homes and hoping that the weak glass
window panes won’t break a shadow crept out of the orphanage compound and ran
out of the gate only to turn on the bend round the highway never to return again.
It was not until the morning prayers that Sister could make out that they were
one short of the full attendance. At first she thought that the girl must be
hiding somewhere in the compound or must be sleeping somewhere in the building.
As minutes passed into hours she had to call upon the local police station and
report a missing person complaint.
Police came over to the building
with a preconceived notion that the child must have been kidnapped. After all
there was an alarming rise in the kidnapping cases where children were sold off
across the border and they had been wondering when it is going to strike the orphanage.
They started questioning everyone including the other kids and if they had
noticed any unknown person in the compound last night. As the weather was not
good everyone gave a different account which in turn gave only a hazy picture.
The watchman was almost sure he had seen a man with a rifle ready to shoot him
down before he had taken out his tiny revolver and shooed the man away. The
watchman though confessed he had sold off the bullets to buy some liquor and
the gun was only a showpiece now. Police felt it better not to question the drunkard
watchman anymore as it would only complicate the case further.
The children seemed to give
interesting stories but the most believable ones were those in which the
children had seen some unknown figure in the dormitory the previous night but
had refrained from raising an alarm as there were all sorts of people who used
to come meet the Sister. There were some odd stories also in which children
claimed that Devil had taken Rhea away as she always used to mumble strange
chants. But the most ridiculous argument was given by the girl who used to
slept next to Rhea and according to her Rhea had ran away on her own due to
some trouble which she never disclosed.
On further investigation the
police came across a diary which Rhea used to maintain. It was really strange
how they could have missed on this evidence earlier as it was on the top of
Rhea’s book pile. Sister was distraught and wanted the police to get Rhea from
the hands of the perpetrators as soon as possible. It had created a sense of
panic and fear amongst the minds of the kids and they were not very forthcoming
to talk now. Moreover the atmosphere in the orphanage had completely changed
and children now took every step with caution. It really disturbed the local
administration as the orphanage was really close to their heart and they took
great pride in its functioning.
As the police read the diary they
could hardly make out what Rhea wrote. She had very beautiful handwriting but
her word connections were horrible. It was almost impossible to make out what
she wrote in that diary. On some of the pages there were strange symbols and on
the other pages there were just numbers. She had a habit of writing every day
except on Thursdays. Police deduced this as the pages on Thursdays were always blank.
One of the investigators pointed out that the writings on Sundays were
generally very relaxed whereas those on Wednesdays were the most odd. The ones
on Fridays were generally filled with poems and quotes.
All in all they concluded the
following-
Sundays - Relaxed writing
describing how the day went
Mondays - Random writings about
the nature and description of other kids
Tuesdays - Strange symbols that
led the reader to believe something dark and ominous
Wednesdays - Hurried writing with
strange numbers and strange unconnected quotes
Thursdays - Blank untouched pages
Fridays - Sad images drawn on the
pages
Saturdays - Pictures of birds and
their descriptions
This was a common pattern and all
the investigators agreed to it after much deliberation. They were really
curious about the blank pages on Thursdays. Strangely Rhea went missing on a Thursday
and they felt that the clue to the case lie in diary and what was written
behind those blank pages. It was as if Rhea wanted to say something through her
diary and her writings but it was very difficult to decipher. They tried
questioning the Sister and the rest of the kids about anything that was special
about Thursdays but were successful in drawing blank faces only.
After a few months of brain
storming they decided to rest the case as the writings must have been plain and
without any agenda. Rhea was known to be a bit eccentric and such a mysterious
diary was only making the matters worse. Sister made a huge hue and cry about
the case being closed but finally relented to the police’s versions and decided
to take care of the rest of the kids.
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this is something new! and I loved reading it..good work!!
ReplyDeleteThanks a lot. Glad you enjoyed it.
DeleteInteresting. Quite successful in creating the eerie effect. But there is scope to continue this further.
ReplyDeleteYes i could have continued it further but somehow i felt it would have diluted the flow and would have been more of a drag. And personally i like open ended stories. I would really like you to go through a story that i had wrote a few months back->
Deletehttp://anandjj123.blogspot.in/2012/01/santa-can-i-meet-you.html
I consider it my best. Would be great to have your views.
hhmmm.... ofcourse we want continuation to this.. but other idea cud be.. some stories are left incomplete..
ReplyDeleteExactly my feelings!..Hope you liked it. Thanks for the comment.
DeleteNicely written JJ. The story keeps the reader engaged. But I think an open ended story is good only when there are two-three possible outcomes and picking just one would kill the whole impact. However creating a compelling back story of a suspense thriller and ending it abruptly with infinite possibilities seems just lazy. There are not enough details for a reader to logically think what might have happened.
ReplyDeleteMaybe I am approaching it like an LR problem, Maybe I have missed some details, Maybe I am too dumb and have missed the whole point. I am not trying to undermine anything, this is just my completely honest opinion.
Actually if you think (and i mean read the story again carefully) there are only 2-3 outcomes. But then again because it is open ended you may have your own versions.
DeleteBut yeah you are correct i could have narrowed it down further as there may be in fact quite a few ways the story can take shape. Too much of LR has made us analyze everything really deeply. Really appreciate your comments will keep them in mind in the further posts.
Interesting flow. The weekly pattern of diary suggests something but the logic behind all the 7 days of writing was not clear to me. I guess, I will have to re-read.
ReplyDeleteI think my logic was a different and it went off a tangent. Now that so many people have mentioned it i do feel the climax could have been better worded. Anyways thanks for the comment. :)
DeleteHi JJ
ReplyDeleteIt was a very interesting read and I am not sure if this story needs to be read with the supernatural world or Agatha Christie sort of sleuthing in mind. Was a great read :)
Thanks a lot :)
ReplyDeleteReally appreciate your comments.
Very interesting story written here...Enjoyed reading it :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for visiting the blog :)
DeleteGlad you liked it.
good work JJ
ReplyDeleteloved it
Thanks a lot Shashiprakash ji!!
DeleteWell written, good storyline, the ending fizzed out a bit but overall the telling of events flows well. Excellent interpretation of the topic. Look forward to reading more of your writing.
ReplyDeleteThanks a lot Helen. Will keep writing :)
Deletewell written, and engaging story!
ReplyDeleteThanks a lot Ash :)
DeleteHmm... intriguing... and very gripping too... Kudos!
ReplyDeleteThanks a lot Rajrupa :)
Deleteloved the way you left the rest for the reader's imagination JJ. good story :) all the best for BAT :)
ReplyDeleteThanks a lot :) Appreciate it.
DeleteMystery always stumps the interested ones. I think it was a different take on the topic so kudos for that!
ReplyDeleteThanks a lot Richi :)
ReplyDelete